I was just beginning this new phase of my life in which I was beginning to truly let go of guilt and regret for past life choices and finally experiencing the Freedom and Peace that Faith ("Letting go and letting God") and Reconciliation bring. Anyway, here is the little ditty from the past...
My Evening of Enlightenment
As I sit here alone, in an empty classroom in the hospital, the lone clock in the room reads “1:15am”. Not much going on around here. The cafeteria is closed. The halls are silent. I am left here pondering my life. Where am I going? What am I doing? What is my purpose? Where will I be this time next year…and doing what? All of these things I have no real concrete answers to. Only hopes, desires, and aspirations.
It is difficult not knowing what tomorrow holds. I like to be in control, or at least think I am. I want to be able to plan out the details of my life.
What do you know!?! Just as I was sitting here, writing and pondering alone, an unexpected visitor showed up. A very kind looking gentleman, with a smile on his face, walked into my classroom to check the trashcan. He is a housekeeper here in the hospital. Of course, at 1:15am, the trashcan is quite empty! Anyway, once he did his duty, he invited himself to have a seat in one of the many empty chairs in the room and strike up a conversation with me.
Of course, one of the first things he asked is, “Where are you from?” I told him, “Louisiana.” And he proceeded to say that he could hear the accent and that he is from the South, too…North Carolina. He then continued with the usual familiar questions about Katrina and whether I was from that area, etc… Then, as we talked more about it, I began to pick up subtle hints that he is a believer. He even began to elaborate more on some of his thoughts about life and God. As he was talking, I would verbalize my agreement, which soon led to him asking me what denomination I am. We then continued into a good, long talk about our shared faith and beliefs. He talked a lot about how he is a part of a group who is bringing together people of all faiths, races, and denominations. As we were wrapping up our conversation so he could go back to work, he asked me my name and said that his name is “Donald.” Donald…one of the many ways God chooses to show Himself in human form when we least expected.
I couldn’t have made this one up if I tried! What a blessing! What a welcome reminder of an answer to some of those things I was pondering just before Donald arrived!
What is my purpose? The same as it always has been since I was created by God…to live a life that glorifies Him so that others can see Him in me, as I just did in Donald. All of those other questions don’t even matter anymore!
(Side note: By the following June, we had much to my happiness moved to New Orleans...remember the Katrina reference!?! I could have never planned nor made that one up, either! Less than a year before moving, I was sitting there writing this and thinking there was no way we would ever be able to move closer to home anytime soon. I was wishin' and hopin' and dreamin'...and prayin'...but, man, our God is good the way He works things out so ironically and perfectly!!! Jeremiah 29:11 - Look it up!!!)